Look for a button on the side of your bidet or its connected remote. Get in the habit of employing it each time you use the bidet so that you can spend less time on a deep clean down the line.

The word bidet actually means "pony" or "small horse" in French, since using a bidet is similar to straddling a pony. And it's in France that the first known bidet appeared, in the 1700s.

After all, installing a bidet in my bathroom was pretty much equivalent to admitting that I actually, you know, use the ...